After you get engaged, you’re going to realize something pretty fast: Not only is almost everyone going to have an opinion about how you should celebrate your big day, they’re going to tell you about it. Over and over—how their idea is better than yours.
And if you have opinionated family members? Well. Your best course of action is, to run. Save yourself the heartache and just elope.
Okay, we’re kidding of course.
While navigating family dynamics during wedding planning has the potential to become a challenge, we’ve got some simple yet effective strategies to help keep it Zen.
Check out our tips on how to maintain the peace, and preserve the integrity and dream you have for your wedding day.
Set and Communicate Your Boundaries
Setting boundaries and communicating what they are serves you well in all aspects of life, not just wedding planning.
Boundaries are the antidote to people taking advantage of you, or using you to play out an agenda. It’s really not as sinister as it sounds—most people are well-meaning and have your best intentions at heart, they just like their way better. But, there are some instances where if there’s friction within families, your wedding could be used by someone trying to gain the upper hand.
Be clear from the onset what the plan for your wedding is. Emphasize that while it’s okay for people to share ideas (if that is indeed something you’re open to) ultimately, it’s your wedding day. You get to decide what happens.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for opinions or help deciding on something truly, if you want feedback on their favorite bridesmaid dresses from the Bella Bridesmaids collection for example, of course! Invite them to weigh in.
Involve Both Families
In an effort not to make anyone feel excluded, involve your fiancées family in the planning as much as your own.
You can either ask family members how they’d like to contribute or share ideas on how you’d like to get them each involved.
Express your gratitude to anyone who lends a helping hand. Say thank you as well to those who have other ideas, but are biting their tongue and letting you have your special moment.
Keep the Big Picture in Mind
As easy as it sometimes is to get swept up in drama (or for someone to try and involve you in their drama) remember the purpose of this celebration: It’s your wedding day, a once-in-a-lifetime moment where you get to unite with your soulmate.
Make a conscious effort to not let trivial inconsequential matters steal the significance and joy from the moment.
Navigating Specific Common Challenges in Family Dynamics
Though all families are different, some of the dynamics are the same. Here are some of the most common disruptive dynamics, and some quick tips on navigating each.
If you have an overbearing family
It’s okay to tell them you have a wedding planner—even if it’s just your bestie playing the part. It may also be helpful to designate a point of contact, your maid of honor perhaps, to act as a buffer (and a deterrent) against all those late-night “I have a brilliant idea for your wedding” calls.
If your family is helping you pay for the wedding…
… they feel as though that gives them the right to input, work together to establish a compromise, and pick your battles, without sacrificing your vision of the big day.
If there’s a family feud
Do your best to not seat guests near others they may not get along with, such as divorced parents. Most people know how to behave civilly when an occasion calls for it.
For those who tend to be more hot-tempered, be clear: this is your special day, and if they can’t set their differences aside to celebrate you, then there’s no reason for them to be there at all.
If there are toxic people in your family
Want the truth? You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want at your wedding, and this includes toxic family members, or family members you’re estranged from.
Think about it first, of course. But if the thought of having them there at your wedding makes you feel stressed or uncomfortable, it’s okay to not invite them at all.
If they’re not respecting your wishes
Send out an email to whoever needs to hear it—not naming names specifically—just a reminder that this is your big day. While they’re entitled to having an opinion, out of consideration for you, you ask that they keep it to themselves and respect your wishes instead.
Conclusion:
By combining a clear vision with clear boundaries, you get to have your dream wedding.
And everyone will be having so much fun, there won’t be any room for drama.
Also Read: GroonyGirls: Redefining Fashion and Lifestyle for the Modern Woman
